It dawned on me that I sould probably post something if I'm going to be abrasive in my critiques to others. It's unfair not to give them the same chance at abuse.
But, in all seriousness, go ahead say what you like. I'm used to being seriously abused.
Prologue: A Young and Foolish Knight
If you think for one moment I wont chain you to keep you from doing this, you are wrong, the mage rubbed some healing salve on the superficial cuts on the young knights leg and began to bandage it. Youre supposed to be tough enough to deal with a little pain.
You wear this mark and then tell me about a little pain, the knight said through clenched teeth.
I didnt put that mark there to torture you, the mage said. I put it there to keep you from doing something that you will regret forever.
Syns thumbs! the knight cursed. You put this on me to make me your slave!
The mage shrugged nonchalantly. That may be the case too. There are several reasons I put that mark on your back. The mage looked at cut that ran along the knights jaw. He hummed and hawed for a moment and then put the salve away. Im leaving this one. Its not as deep as the others. It will dull the pain for a little while.
Thank you, the knight said sullenly.
Long enough, that is, for you to track down Baron Onnix of Orsine, the mage added. Hes a child rapist. I want him dealt with. He should be good enough to almost stop the pain of the mark for a little while. The knight rose to leave. Lex, the mage added, dont get carried away this time. Just Orsineno one else.
One: Visionary
Cal stretched his young back and risked a short gaze at the sky while the overseers back was turned. He let his hoe rest against his leg with he searched the cloudless sky with muddy brown eyes. The afternoon sun beat down on him and the other workers. He stared at its light, defying it like he never could defy the overseer.
But no one can look at the sun for long without pain. Cal looked away and blinked at the spots that clouded his vision. Then the spots began to coalesce themselves into the shape of a great eagle.
At first Cal thought it was just his imagination playing tricks on him, but the eagle became clearerits wings were spread wide and it held a broken sword in its beak. The Barons eagle, Cal thought, the one on his crest. But this eagle was more life-like than on any crest Cal had ever seen. It seemed as though it would take off at any moment.
Other images formed around the golden eagle. Piles of bodies, the bluish color of the souls in the painting in the Syn church he and the other serfs went to on High Day once a week, were piled high behind the eagle, entrails hanging out from between their legs. In the eagles talons there was another soul-blue body and the eagle was using its other claw to tear the bodys stringy organs out by its crotch. Cal was vaguely aware that his stomach should be turning, but he didnt feel the least bit ill.
Runt! a thick voice snarled. Pain snapped along the side of Cals head and he was forced to shake it to clear the daze. The vision vanished.
The black shadow of the overseer was hanging over him, his cudgel in his hand. The thick-lipped man shouted again, Runt, get back to work. But Cals head felt like it was full of stuffing and he couldnt move. Another sharp impact on the side of his head brought Cal fully back to reality. He tried to bend over his work again, but the overseer had already chosen to lose patience with him. The cudgel rose and fell, rose and fell, impacting Cals face, his back, his shoulders, or head every time it landed. He curled up on the dry earth burying his face as the pain smashed into his senses again and again.
He didnt hear the carriage wheels or the horses coming along the nearby road. He didnt here them stop. All he knew was the pain had stopped coming.
A gentle hand touched his back. Cal looked up, brown eyes round with terror, into a pair of soft blue eyes touched withsomething strange. It wasnt happiness or hunger, but maybe it was a touch of both. The face they were in was fair and narrow with a square chin and a mass of blonde hair neatly combed back. His doublet was a rich purple and his shirt a blinding white.
Mlord, the overseer sputtered, suddenly much less frightening in the presence of the baron. I
No, dont explain, the baron said. He had a thick, dreamy voice which reminded Cal of the way Brother Grey had sounded after the healer woman had given him that potion for his broken leg. Cal wondered if the baron was hurt too. I understand what you were doing, the baron continued. The serfs need to work and youre supposed to make sure they do. But this little one might be too delicate for this job. The baron reached down and gently whipped the tears from Cals dirty cheeks. I think Ill find a place for him at the castle doing something lessbackbreaking.
Prologue: A Young and Foolish Knight
If you think for one moment I wont chain you to keep you from doing this, you are wrong, the mage rubbed some healing salve on the superficial cuts on the young knights leg and began to bandage it. Youre supposed to be tough enough to deal with a little pain.
You wear this mark and then tell me about a little pain, the knight said through clenched teeth.
I didnt put that mark there to torture you, the mage said. I put it there to keep you from doing something that you will regret forever.
Syns thumbs! the knight cursed. You put this on me to make me your slave!
The mage shrugged nonchalantly. That may be the case too. There are several reasons I put that mark on your back. The mage looked at cut that ran along the knights jaw. He hummed and hawed for a moment and then put the salve away. Im leaving this one. Its not as deep as the others. It will dull the pain for a little while.
Thank you, the knight said sullenly.
Long enough, that is, for you to track down Baron Onnix of Orsine, the mage added. Hes a child rapist. I want him dealt with. He should be good enough to almost stop the pain of the mark for a little while. The knight rose to leave. Lex, the mage added, dont get carried away this time. Just Orsineno one else.
One: Visionary
Cal stretched his young back and risked a short gaze at the sky while the overseers back was turned. He let his hoe rest against his leg with he searched the cloudless sky with muddy brown eyes. The afternoon sun beat down on him and the other workers. He stared at its light, defying it like he never could defy the overseer.
But no one can look at the sun for long without pain. Cal looked away and blinked at the spots that clouded his vision. Then the spots began to coalesce themselves into the shape of a great eagle.
At first Cal thought it was just his imagination playing tricks on him, but the eagle became clearerits wings were spread wide and it held a broken sword in its beak. The Barons eagle, Cal thought, the one on his crest. But this eagle was more life-like than on any crest Cal had ever seen. It seemed as though it would take off at any moment.
Other images formed around the golden eagle. Piles of bodies, the bluish color of the souls in the painting in the Syn church he and the other serfs went to on High Day once a week, were piled high behind the eagle, entrails hanging out from between their legs. In the eagles talons there was another soul-blue body and the eagle was using its other claw to tear the bodys stringy organs out by its crotch. Cal was vaguely aware that his stomach should be turning, but he didnt feel the least bit ill.
Runt! a thick voice snarled. Pain snapped along the side of Cals head and he was forced to shake it to clear the daze. The vision vanished.
The black shadow of the overseer was hanging over him, his cudgel in his hand. The thick-lipped man shouted again, Runt, get back to work. But Cals head felt like it was full of stuffing and he couldnt move. Another sharp impact on the side of his head brought Cal fully back to reality. He tried to bend over his work again, but the overseer had already chosen to lose patience with him. The cudgel rose and fell, rose and fell, impacting Cals face, his back, his shoulders, or head every time it landed. He curled up on the dry earth burying his face as the pain smashed into his senses again and again.
He didnt hear the carriage wheels or the horses coming along the nearby road. He didnt here them stop. All he knew was the pain had stopped coming.
A gentle hand touched his back. Cal looked up, brown eyes round with terror, into a pair of soft blue eyes touched withsomething strange. It wasnt happiness or hunger, but maybe it was a touch of both. The face they were in was fair and narrow with a square chin and a mass of blonde hair neatly combed back. His doublet was a rich purple and his shirt a blinding white.
Mlord, the overseer sputtered, suddenly much less frightening in the presence of the baron. I
No, dont explain, the baron said. He had a thick, dreamy voice which reminded Cal of the way Brother Grey had sounded after the healer woman had given him that potion for his broken leg. Cal wondered if the baron was hurt too. I understand what you were doing, the baron continued. The serfs need to work and youre supposed to make sure they do. But this little one might be too delicate for this job. The baron reached down and gently whipped the tears from Cals dirty cheeks. I think Ill find a place for him at the castle doing something lessbackbreaking.
