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Vortex Duck		#11	[-]
Posts: 107 (01/20/08 08:10:36) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Oooh, drama! Still brilliant. And very cheerful. Just a couple things: Lysander Isn't he one of the ones out of Shakespeare? ----------------------------------------------- rang the doorbell with his nose Cute! And really fitting for (your/his) 'character'. ----------------------------------------------- Who's Who of losers and wankers You mean the current English Political System? ----------------------------------------------- your sweaty brand of love WHY?!! That's a BAD mental image!!?! ----------------------------------------------- "Michael's type" - innocent looking and blonde Ahem. I might have to dye my hair. ----------------------------------------------- "How do you do that? I can't even get him to stop clipping his toenails on the sofa!" On second thoughts, maybe I won't.
Ablean Buckslinger		#12	[-]
Posts: 2722 (01/20/08 08:49:13) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	your sweaty brand of love WHY?!! That's a BAD mental image!!?! ---- That's how Ellie would refer to it, quite frankly. And I did take the name Lysander from Shakespeare, yes. Everything we do is a choice. Oatmeal or cereal, highway or side streets, kiss her or keep her, we make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness, it's the best anyone can do. A blog: http://michaeljritchie.livejournal.com/ Fran: You know, in Tibet, if they want something, do you know what they do? They give something away. Bernard: Do they? Do they? That must be why they're such a dominant global power.
anonymouse21		#13	[-]
Posts: 3 (03/04/08 23:00:50) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	This is brilliant! You have well developed and interesting characters, a good story, and an overall good job. However, I have to say that the absence of quotation marks annoyed me a slight bit. Instead of Yes, So and So said, of course. Make it "Yes," So and So said. "Of course." Sorry, just a bit of advice.
Ablean Buckslinger		#14	[-]
Posts: 2859 (03/05/08 01:33:00) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	That wasn't intentional, it was just they all vanished when the forum changed servers. But thanks for your comments Everything we do is a choice. Oatmeal or cereal, highway or side streets, kiss her or keep her, we make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness, it's the best anyone can do. A blog: http://michaeljritchie.livejournal.com/ Fran: You know, in Tibet, if they want something, do you know what they do? They give something away. Bernard: Do they? Do they? That must be why they're such a dominant global power.
gigglingtreepixie		#15	[-]
Posts: 18 (03/26/08 21:45:13) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	very good! bravo! i'm really liking ellie, she seems fiesty (dunno the spelling of that for sure, sorry lol)
babeonownbike		#16	[-]
Posts: 10 (04/02/08 07:15:25) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I am really enjoying reading your story. There were a few places I wanted to pull out my red pen, but overall it's really well done. The lack of punctuation makes the going difficult, but I copied and pasted into Word and then ran a spell-check which allowed me to easily correct the majority of them. Keep going! ------ ~ Live your life so if anyone hears bad spoken of you, it will not be believed. ~ My BFF is Thesaurus.com

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