The Tale of Ogdred Weary (who cried and died horridly)
Ogdred was a naughty kid.
When his parents told him to sit,
He scratched and bit.
When he was told to behave,
He cried a tidal wave.
When it was time to learn,
He watched his teacher burn.
His parents were at a loss,
As Ogdred played boss.
They invited a Doctor with high acclaim,
Bob-Skeleton was his name.
While the Doctor entered the house,
Ogdred sat, torturing a mouse.
"Sit up, and do as you're told!"
The Doctor's voice was icy cold.
Ogdred scrunched his eyes and spat aloud,
"I would if I could, but I'm not allowed,
My parents shut me in my room all day,
While I want to go outside and play!"
The Doctor's laugh was loose and off-key,
As he bent down and onto one knee.
"Don't play games with me child,"
His breath stale, the Doctor smiled.
"Play time is over and you listen here,
No more mischief, got that clear?"
The Doctor's voice was clinically cynical.
(Though he had hoped for cynically clinical)
"Hmmph! You may as well ban all fun!"
"Yes, and trouble and misbehaviour, son,
Not to mention the ban on baboonery,
And all forms of tomfoolery."
"But sir!" Ogdred Weary said,
"My name's not Tom, its Ogdred."
The Doctor seized his ear, extracting a shriek,
"Enough with that tongue, give no more cheek."
And with that, he ripped off Ogdred's ear,
With a queer little jig, Ogdred jumped back in fear,
With his tongue in his cheek and his teeth clenched tight,
He severed his tongue, which flopped out of sight.
For his tongue-in-cheek hilarity,
His cheeky tongue paid dearly.
"And what can we do about those crocodile tears?"
Said the man, with his voice full with jeers,
"Ah yes, I think that they'll have to go,"
And he gouged out Ogdred's eyes like a pro.
Ogdred stumbled back, rubbing his eyes in disbelief,
Screaming in pain for some relief.
The Doc obliged and struck him dead.
Lesson learnt, Ogred went limp, never naughty again, heaven forbid.

